I’m a big fan of the homemade Halloween costume; I’ve never been sure whether that’s because my mom always made my brothers’ and my costumes when we were kids, or out of some twisted drive to be The Craftiest Mom On The Block — or out of refusal to pay $30 for the privilege of dressing my child as the same licensed character as all the other trick-or-treaters. All three, I guess. At any rate, this year once I finished the boys’ costumes (Pac-Man, Inky, and Blinky) I decided to actually make one of my own, inspired by an adorable (and completely age-inappropriate) costume picture I found on pinterest.
Sometime last night after I’d finally finished tying all the tulle strips onto my skirt (which isn’t a skirt at all, really, but “tutu” sounds somehow frivolous, as if that makes any difference at all) I realized just how very much tulle is required to cover an ass this ample. And somehow I had envisioned the tulle strips drifting softly down, like on the little girl in the picture; I hadn’t thought about how much more dimension my own well-curved shape would add to the tutu (yes, okay, tutu).
For a moment, I worried that it would make my butt look big.
Then I spun around like a ballerina, and HECK YES. My butt didn’t look any bigger; it was big to begin with. What happened instead was, my butt made the tutu look big. I was wrapped in a poof-cloud of tulle that swooshed and floofed around me with my every movement. I felt like a giant floaty gravity-defying ball of fluff. I was a human tulle-nado. Tutus, I decided, are pretty much perfect for fat ladies. And fat ladies are perfect for tutus.
And then, I wore it out in public. In daylight. To my kids’ elementary school Halloween parade. Fortunately, they’re not yet old enough to feel embarrassment that their mother exists, much less goes around swathed in tulle-fluff, and to them it was awesome, not mortifying, that I was the only parent in costume.
Actually, the students marching by in the parade gave me quite a few sincere high-fives and compliments, which was pretty fabulous. And I have a little bit of hope that I helped normalize, and maybe awesome-ize, body diversity for them. (Because appearing in public as a fat lady in a tutu just isn’t ever not activism. My body size, and my enjoyment of same, was definitely noticeable.)
So here you go, a fat lady in a tutu:
And here are my boys in their homemade costumes:
Yep. Happy Halloween.
By the way, you’ve probably noticed that it’s been approximately six million years since I’ve written much here. This has turned out to be a really difficult, time-consuming semester for me. My brain is stuffed full of all kinds of blog content that I just haven’t been able to publish. I’m really hoping that in a few months I’ll be able to get back to a more regular writing schedule. Thanks for sticking around in the meantime.