I’ve been wearing her face my entire life. Even before she died, people used to tell me: “Oh, you look so much like your mom!” I’ve never been quite sure what my response is supposed to be: Thank you? Once she died it became my job to wear her face around, to perpetuate my… Read More Elsewhere: Her Face
I knew it was God’s Plan for us to be married. At 14, I’d had a bona fide Sign From God — the details of which are too excruciatingly embarrassing for me to recount even now, nearly 20 years later; picture a latter-day Gideon’s fleece reimagined through the earnestness of adolescence — that J., my… Read More Plans
((This week is, traditionally, my annual Very Hard Week. It’s a roller-coaster, with the national grief of 9/11 and the celebration of my son’s birthday (tinged with the bittersweet feeling every parent knows, the realization that my sweet baby boy is growing up — proud of the young man he’s becoming, eager to meet the… Read More Repost: Twenty
This week the little corner of the Internet where I live has been talking about brokenness and sin, ever since some random Reformed pastor’s tweet found its way into the progressive-liberal-Christian twittersphere, saying that parents should “Teach your children that they are broken. Deeply broken.” And at first I didn’t pay a lot of attention… Read More Fear, part 2
I’m getting bad at food again. Lately I’ve been adding breakfast and lunch to my daily to-do list — partly because checking things off makes me feel productive even if it’s things I’d be doing anyway, but mostly because if it’s not on my to-do list looking like an official task, I won’t eat. I’ll… Read More Bad at food.
I’m sitting in room 141 of a hospice facility in Nashville, watching my grandmother nap. Under the blankets she seems like a baby bird — tiny and curled up, frail. She’s always been a thin woman; now she’s shrunk so much that I am literally the size of four of her. She’s not actively dying,… Read More Titty-deep
I’m at the Y, walking on the treadmill. I’m surrounded by fat people, thin people, old people, young people, all of them trying to make their bodies stronger. It’s peaceful. I have a view out the window and Adele on my iPod. My legs feel good, strong. Today I’m walking a little faster than I… Read More Treadmill thoughts